The Beginnings of a Long Life
by Short Moose
Summary: Everything is different now. The timeline has been changed, and no one remembers anything. Except for me. What am I supposed to do now? Part 6/10 in the Andi Hojem Series. Author disclaimer: I own the character Andi Hojem, and that is it.
1. Prologue

I had collapsed. Johnny's infant daughter had been brought back, and the timeline had been restored. Was it bad that I didn't want her to come back? Johnny and I were happy, engaged, and it just…seemed so perfect. I should have known it wasn't going to last.

"Another." I asked the bartender. The older man nodded and passed me a sixth Guinness. "Thank you." I took a sip. So far I hadn't felt anything, but I was hoping to soon.

"You got quite the tolerance." The bartender commented. It was quiet in the bar at four in the afternoon.

"So it seems." I said off-handedly as I drained most of the beer.

"Can I ask you something?" He began without letting me answer. "What's got you in here at four o'clock? Actually, what made you come in here at two-thirty?"

I took in the rest of the beer. "That's when you opened. I'll take another, please."

"Mm-m." He took my now empty glass and handed me one filled with water. "You need a break."

My eyes rolled as he walked away. The Guinness was starting to taste weird anyway. I took my first sip of water, and a bowl of pretzels was suddenly dropped in front of me.

"You can have another drink when you finish both of those." The bartender said nonchalantly as he walked away, to continue wiping the already clean bar.

I made a face, but did not argue. I never knew when or if the drunkenness would set in.

"Is this seat taken?" A deep-ish voice said behind me.

Without looking, I responded with, "Yup."

The man sat down anyway. "Can I get a Labatt's please?" The bartender nodded and slid one down the bar. "Thank you so much."

I gave a sideways glance at the man and almost screamed. I took another look and my nerves calmed slightly. For a moment the man looked exactly like Johnny: the short blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, muscular build, hell, even his face was the same shape.

"Can I help you?" I said from behind the opening of my glass.

"Maybe. I'm looking for an Andrea Wayne. You wouldn't happen to know her, would you?" He didn't look at me, so I kept staring ahead.

"Depends on who is asking."

He turned to me and stuck out his hand. "Steve Rogers."

I looked at him wearily. He was not Johnny. He was not Johnny. "Andi Wayne." I shook his hand and turned forward. "What do you want?"

He gently raised his shoulders. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is looking for you. Says you haven't shown up to work in a while."

"I don't work for Nick Fury." I grumbled.

"Fury isn't the one looking for you."

"If Natasha Romanov is looking for me, tell her I know what salon she goes to."

He gave a slight shake of his head. "It's not Romanov."

I turned to him. "Listen, buddy, this whole guessing game is getting old, so let's just skip to the end."

Steve took another sip. "Tony's looking for you. He got a call from your brother. Says you've been missing for a couple weeks."

I shrugged. "I've been busy." I grabbed a handful of pretzels and shoved them in my mouth.

Without speaking, but noticing my effort, the bartender put another Guinness in front of me. I nodded 'thank you' to him.

"Well apparently they don't care that much. They want you back."

"No." The first sip of a Guinness is always so heavy, so bitter.

"Why not?"

I gave him a glare. "Because it's none of your fucking business."

"Hey," He finally turned to me. "Can you watch your mouth, please?"

My eyebrow raised as I looked over at him. "Sorry, Dad." More heavy and bitter liquid. "You wouldn't believe me anyway."

"Try me." He faced me completely and expectantly.

"Are you serious? Can't you just leave me alone?" Stay strong, Andi. You can handle this yourself.

He would not budge. Steve Rogers just stared until I broke.

I groaned. "Ugh, fine. But I'm telling you, you're not going to understand."

Again, he said nothing.

"Okay," I finally turned to him. "You want to know so bad? Here. Four years ago, a man from the future stole my ex-boyfriend's daughter because she couldn't control her mutant powers, and in doing so, erased her from existence, so anyone who might have known her wouldn't know her. My memory couldn't be erased because I mind melded with an alien who had extraordinary telepathic powers and it wouldn't affect him. During that time, my ex-boyfriend and I got back together and he proposed to me a couple weeks ago. Seems great, right? Well, the bad news is, the morning after he proposed, I wake up and find that he's not in my home, which we had been sharing for three years. None of his stuff was there, no pictures of us, there was nothing. Now, I start calling and screaming his name. And I go to my kitchen and find his older self, from about thirty years into the future, and he finally clues me in. His daughter had returned in the middle of the night, and everything had been restored. Everything was where it was supposed to be."

Steve waited a moment before speaking. "Does the daughter remember anything?" His voice was barely a whisper.

My head shook. "No. They put her in a cryostasis until they could figure out how to control her powers, before she destroyed herself and everything around her. She's still a baby."

Another moment passed. "What have you been doing the past couple weeks?"

"Mostly drinking and eating pretzels. I haven't gotten drunk yet, but I'm hoping to real soon." I grabbed another handful of pretzels and brought them to my mouth.

A small smirk played at the edges of Steve's mouth. "Now that problem is one I can relate to." He took another swig from is glass.

"It sucks, doesn't it?" I emptied my glass again.

"Oh it's the worst." He chuckled, which caused me to let out an almost non-existent smile, which I quickly swallowed. "Uh, can I ask you a clarifying question?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Those people from the future," he began. "Do they visit you a lot?"

I shrugged again. "Sometimes. Depends on where I am in my life, what I'm doing. I've been at this for weeks, doing nothing, so I haven't really given them a cause to come here and 'fix' me."

"Wow, that's really annoying."

Clearly. "Yes, yes it is." I agreed with him.

I was about to signal for another round, but Steve interrupted. "How long has it been since you've had real food?"

"Four days." The bartender said as he took away out empty glasses and the pretzels.

"Has it been four days already?" I mused to myself.

"Yeah." The barman said gruffly.

"Well, time flies when you're being miserable." I took out my wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing if you get out of my bar right now." He snapped.

"No need to be snippy." I laid down two twenties. "I'll be back later."

He shook his head. "Nope. We'll be closed."

My eyebrow raised again. "On a Saturday night?"

"It's Tuesday." The bartender said gruffly.

"Touché." I swiftly turned and began leaving.

Steve hopped off his stool. "Hey, wait up."

I ignored him and just kept walking.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"This is the best food I have ever tasted." Steve gushed over the large basket of French fries drenched in gravy and cheese curds. "What is it called again?"

"Poutine." I kept my smile hidden behind my burger.

We ended up at a small greasy spoon a couple blocks down from the bar.

Steve took another bite. "Oh my goodness, this is so good."

"Who would have thought that Captain America would love Canada so much?" I mumbled to myself.

He rolled his eyes. "I heard that." He took another bite. "What are you doing up here anyway?"

I picked at some of my fries. "Stratford Shakespeare Festival. It was a couple weeks ago. I came up here to see it, and I just never left." Cold and bubbly pop passed through my lips.

"Why not?" He asked between mouthfuls.

I shrugged. "Going home means that I have to face the fact that…in this reality…Johnny never loved me. Not like that, at least." I watched as the ice cubes circled around the straw I was absent mindedly moving to try and occupy my mind. Why did it have to be true?

"But what about your brother?" He asked, wiping his hands on a napkin. "Couldn't you tell him this? I mean, if you explain it, he'll probably understand-"

"My brother would understand better than most." I interrupted him. "But I can't go back into my house. Not yet. I can't go into that house and pretend like he never lived there." I unconsciously started taking deep breaths. Keep calm, Andi. Breathe.

Steve halted his eating and looked at me. "Well, is there somewhere else you can go?"

I took a deep breath. "There are so many places I could go, but the problem is: how am I supposed to explain what I'm feeling? Who is actually going to believe me? I mean, only like, three people know that sometimes people from the future show up to talk to me, and like…what would they say? You're a stranger, it doesn't really matter that you think I'm crazy-"

"Which I don't." He interrupted me.

But I continued as if I did not hear him. "But I can't tell these people who have known me a third of my life that I've been visited by future versions of myself and them. And I've been visited multiple times so that they could tell me what to do with my life."

He gave a slight nod. "That does sound a little crazy." He then looked and saw my eyes filled with tears and pain and confusion.

"But if I do go to them," I continued. "They're going to ask why I am depressed like this. And how am I supposed to tell them that a future version of my boyfriend of almost six years, suddenly has a child now that is not mine, and nobody seems to remember that we ever dated? How?"

And then Steve spoke without thinking. "You could come back to S.H.I.E.L.D. with me. People there tend not to ask questions."

I snorted. "The people there make up the questions that get asked."

"What?"

I took the last bite of my food and motioned for the waitress. "I've been at S.H.I.E.L.D. before. All they do is ask questions. And if you don't answer, they find out for themselves. It is not a good place if you want to keep a secret."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked, clearly confused. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is all about keeping secrets."

"Right." I gave a single nod. "The agency is about keeping secrets and using them. But do you really think anyone that works there is allowed to have secrets of their own?"

"I have secrets from them." Steve defended as the waitress dropped off the check.

Another snort escaped from me. "Are you really sure about that Captain? Because I would've thought a man from the World War II-era, the time when espionage basically began, would know better." I pulled out some cash from my wallet and paid the bill. "Enjoy the rest of your poutine. I have more drinking to do."

And I left the diner, without Steve in tow.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"I want you to find her." Batman sat with J'onn J'onzz in the cafeteria of the Justice League Watch Tower. "It has been weeks with no word. Tony even has someone in S.H.I.E.L.D. looking for her. But you have a direct line into her head."

The Martian Manhunter was getting angry. He kept being pestered by people. People who wanted him to use his abilities for very wrong reasons, reasons he did not understand. "I will not use the mental connection that Andi and I have to locate her. She does not want to be found."

Batman gritted his teeth. "This is my sister we're talking about, J'onn. She has not spoken to me in weeks. She fell off the face of the earth and you're not going to help me find her?"

"Looking into her mind to discover her whereabouts is an invasion of privacy." J'onn defended himself calmly. "One that I promised her many years ago to not violate unless she was in danger. She is not in danger, so I will not enter her mind to learn her location."

"Damnit, J'onn!" Batman slammed his fists on the table, causing other members of the League to turn their heads and notice them. "I need to speak with her!"

Keep it together, the alien coached himself. "Then I suggest you wait for her to call you. Andi is grieving, and she wants to be alone."

"Grieving? What is she upset about?" Batman was starting to let loose his 'voice'.

J'onn restrained himself. "It is not my place to disclose that information."

"Well what _can_ you tell me?!"

"Tone it down, Bruce." J'onn's voice was low, warning.

He took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, J'onn. It's just, ever since that Johnny Storm's wedding, Andi has been very fragile, and I've been worrying about her more than usual lately…" He trailed off, seemingly lost or confused by what he just said.

J'onn leaned forward slightly, "And, how long ago was this wedding?" Due to his high level of telepathy, J'onn was also unaffected by the return of Anita and the time-rewrite that came along with her.

Bruce gave a small shrug. "About a year ago. His daughter's a couple months old now." The Martian nodded silently, taking in this new information. "I just," Bruce continued. "I thought Andi was doing better."

"Considering the circumstances," J'onn treaded lightly. "I think she is handling this better than she has other things in the past."

Bruce shook his head. "She's never been gone this long before. And she always lets me know that she's going for a while, but she didn't this time."

"Bruce." J'onn stopped him before his temper flared back up. "Things have happened that you do not know about. That nobody knows about except for her and me. I wish I could tell you, but I promised her that I would not. Trust me when I say, that this is extraordinarily painful for her, and she is trying her best to cope."

"But-" Bruce began.

"Stop." The Martian interrupted him, and he took a deep breath to calm himself again. "This pain is mental, Bruce. And as you know, I feel everything she does. It is difficult to concentrate on my work, and it is not easy to answer the same questions over and over again because all I want is to stop feeling like this!" As he talked, J'onn's tempo quickened and he took several deep breaths, but they did not work.

"Okay, okay." Bruce yielded. Seeing J'onn like that finally helped him understand. "I get it. You are both in a really shitty place, and I promise I will not ask about it anymore."

Hearing that seemed to calm the alien a bit. "Thank you."

"And…I'm sorry that I never asked how you were doing. Sometimes I take your connection with her for granted, and that's pretty shitty, so I'm sorry." Bruce kept his voice low to make sure no one else heard him.

But J'onn heard him, and a very small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Thank you, Bruce. Your apology is very much appreciated."

Bruce returned with a smirk. "Don't expect another one."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 _Bzzzzt._

 _Bzzzzt._

 _Bzzzzt._

 _Bzzzzt._

 _Bzzzzt._

Bruce's name dimmed again and my phone stopped vibrating. He's been calling every day at five-thirty for a week. He left a voicemail the first call, just telling me that he did not entirely understand the situation that I am in, but that he would be available if I wanted to talk to him. He must have been trying to keep himself calm because he never spoke that formal with me.

"Did your brother call again?" Steve asked. He had followed me to another bar and forced me to leave occasionally. He even paid for a hotel room and would stay awake until I fell asleep to make sure that I got some rest. It is weird, S.H.I.E.L.D. almost never employs genuinely nice people.

"Yup." I said from beneath the covers. Today was not a day to go to the bar, it was a day to lay in bed and move as little as possible.

"You going to answer him this time?" Steve asked. When I did not answer, he turned on the television and flipped through some channels until he found a show he recognized. "Are you going to go outside today?" He asked gently, sitting on his bed and looking at the lump I created on my bed.

"Probably not." I admitted, sliding my phone underneath my pillow so I no longer had to look at myself in the black screen.

He just nodded. "Okay. Do you know what you want for dinner?"

I pulled my knees closer into my chest. "I'm not hungry."

Again, Steve nodded. "Well, I'm going to bring you back something anyway." He stood up and went to the door. "I'll be back soon, and I'm going to lock you in, okay?"

"Okay." Echoed from across the room.

"Okay." He answered back, shutting the door behind him.

I took a deep, shaky breath. Finally. I haven't been alone since Steve showed up. I mean, he has been nothing but nice to me, supportive even. But I am pretty sure that he was given orders to stick to me like glue once he did find me. Inching down the comforter, I peered out at the dimly lit room. He left the TV on, but muted. Probably to give me something to do if I felt like crawling out of the covers. _M*A*S*H_ was on. I smiled very slightly. Of course he would pick a show about war. I watched in silence for a few minutes, but my smile quickly faded when I saw BJ Hunnicutt lying on the ground, crying, and drinking.

Ah shit. I turned the sound on.

"… _I can see him standing there, holding her hand, laughing. I see Peg smiling…wearing that perfume she wears. I can see him giving Erin the present I sent for her. Touching her hair. Getting the hug I should've gotten!"_

Keep it together, Andi.

" _Radar's home, Hawk, I should be glad for him. But I'm not!"_

Please keep it together. Please.

" _I'm so torn up with envy I almost hate him!"_

Stop rubbing your eyes, they hurt so much. Please stop, you're not hydrated enough to cry again.

"… _I've been gone so long, Hawkeye. A lifetime. Erin's lifetime. Even if I go home tomorrow, I'll never get that back…"_

I couldn't stop myself from rolling over and buried my face into a pillow. Was this even real? It feels real, but it didn't happen like this. This isn't right-No. This is right now. This is real now. What I remember never happened. It never happened. We never happened.

"It wasn't real." I mumbled into the pillow, trying to convince myself.

"Andrea Hojem of Earth…" A distorted woman's voice called. I turned over and saw my old Star Sapphire ring floating over to me.

I shook my head and backed away from the ring. "No." How did it get in here? I have not taken it out of the box underneath my bed since the Silver Lantern War.

"…You have great love in your heart." The woman's voice continued as the ring inched ever closer to me.

"No! No I don't!" I yelled, falling off the bed and crawling away toward the bathroom.

The ring did not want to hear my objections, and it was persistent. It backed me into a corner. "Andrea Hojem of Earth…" It repeated. "…You have great love in your heart."

"No I don't." I shook my head again, tears streaming down my face. "I really don't. Please don't do this."

But it was too late. The Star Sapphire ring found my finger, and once again I felt the overwhelming power flow through me. My brain was being soaked in the idea of love, fighting to squash the pain I was feeling. I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't. I cou. I.

"Welcome to the Star Sapphires."

My body took in a jagged, involuntary breath. A coughing fit emerged, and I rolled over onto my stomach and let myself cough it out.

There was a faint knocking on the door. "Andi? Are you alright in there?"

Steve?

Another knock. "Andi? Can I come in?"

My eyes finally opened and I shook as I tried to crawl to the door. I almost made it when the door opened and Steve stared down at me in surprise.

"Are you alright?" He leaned over and started to stand me up. "Where did you get those clothes?"

My head drooped as I was being stood up, and the low-cut pink leotard with a large starburst on it and silver sleeves, and the pair of thigh high pink high heeled boots I was wearing made my heart skip a beat.

"Gettheringoff." I mumbled, trying to find my footing.

"What?" He stood me up, not noticing the ring on my finger emitting a violet glow.

"Ring!" I got out. It glowed brighter at the mention. "Ring off!"

He looked at my hands to find whatever ring I was talking about and his eyes widened. "It-it's melted to your finger."

"Oh God, no!" I reached over Steve's arms to try and get it off myself, but I was too late.

"Transporting to Zamaron." The woman's voice returned, and my whole body was covered in this violet light.

"NO!"

Steve heard my cry, but he was blinded by the light. "Andi!" He called for me, but there was no answer. When the light finally dimmed, he was alone.


	2. Star Sapphires

"Welcome to Zamaron."

The woman's voice echoed in my ear as I looked up to the dark, starry sky. The ground was hard beneath my knees, but the dust that covered the surface was soft. My fingers dug themselves into the dust and I slowly sat up, taking in everything around me. Pink. Everything was pink. From the dust to the suspiciously large protruding crystals that seemed to pop out randomly. My hand opened and the tiny particles trickled out, leaving only a few grains in my palm. I poured the last few grains out, and took a good look at the ring that forged itself onto my hand. The inside had fused with my skin, going so deep that it began to crawl up a blood vessel.

I finally began to breathe again. "Ring," I called, not really knowing what else to call it. It did not answer back, so I just continued. "Can you take me to Carol Ferris?"

"Transporting to Star Sapphire Carol Ferris." The glow returned and disappeared almost instantly, leaving me in a completely different place. It still looked like Zamaron (I think), but now there was a large sculpture that looked like the main Lantern on Oa. Except, of course, it was pink.

I saw a group of women standing around, but I could not really recognize any one of them. "Carol Ferris?"

A woman with long black hair and a pink facemask turned around and looked down at me with surprised green eyes. "You're John Stewart's friend." Ah, now she looked familiar. "Andi, right?"

I nodded slightly, not budging from the ground.

"What are you doing here?"

I showed her my hand and dismissed her question. "Can you take this ring off?"

Carol grabbed my hand and took a closer look. "My word." She looked concerned. Well that's not good. Tentatively, she reached out and touched the ring, only to jerk back almost immediately. "Oh, you poor child. You have experienced such heartache."

"I-I haven't. It didn't happen." The more I said it, the easier it was to believe.

She kneeled down and grabbed my hands. "But you have. I feel it."

I shook my head again. "No. What I remember didn't happen. It got erased-"

"It still happened." Her voice hardened and she stared into my eyes. "Just because people don't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen. It doesn't mean that it can't hurt."

Tears began welling up again. She looked so sincere. "Does it ever go away?" My voice was raspier in that one sentence that it had been over the past few weeks.

Carol gave a small nod. "It takes time, but yes. It will get better."

"What should I do?"

She looked at me, and saw something she had not seen in a long time. Carol saw her, after Hal broke her heart the first time. "You work with us. We'll train you, give you work to do, keep you busy and help you move on. That's why the ring came to you. You need this."

"Okay," I felt the words fall out of my mouth before I even had time to think about it. "Put me to work."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I am not sure how long it has been since I got to Zamaron. I cannot tell if the days are longer or shorter here. I do know that my hair has gotten long enough for me to pull it up into a ponytail, so I guess it's been a while. Every day is different. The training seems to just keep going. Working with the ring is very difficult. You need to feel some sort of love in order to make it work, and at the moment, I still cannot get it to work reliably.

"Come on, you can do this." Carol tried to motivate me from the sideline of their training area. It was a simple open area surrounded by a ring of stalagmites. "You've wielded the ring before, you know how it works. You just have to let it. Focus on what you want to create."

"Well it's a little difficult to do that when I can't even make a small spark appear when I want it to!" I snapped back. I was sick and tired of this you-can-do-it-if-you-just-try attitude. News flash: fixing personal problems is not that easy.

"Try again." Carol ordered, keeping her voice as calm as she could. Hearing her sharpness told me that it was a bit difficult. "The ring has not changed since the last time you wore it. And you were able to control it along with three other rings, all with conflicting triggers. You can do this. Just focus."

I took a deep breath. "Okay." I shook out my shoulders and loosened myself up. "Ring, all I want to make is a circle. It doesn't have to be an orb or anything, just a circle." I balled my hand into a fist, held it out, and closed my eyes. "Think of something you love and make a circle." I reminded myself.

Something I love…something I love…

I love orange chicken and fried rice, but I don't think that's the kind of love they mean. Um…they also probably don't mean loving television shows like _Doctor Who_ …shit.

My arm fell and I let out a breath I did not know I was holding. Nothing.

"Do you love anything?" Carol's voice was closer than I remembered.

I opened my eyes and saw her standing right in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest. "Can you please take a step back? I got this thing about personal space."

She did not move. "Do you love anything?" She repeated.

"I-I love some things?" I tried.

She immediately shot me down. "If you truly loved something, the ring would have responded."

"Are you saying that I don't actually love orange chicken and fried rice?" I tried to make a small joke, but she was not having it.

"I am saying that you are not allowing yourself to love anything."

My jaw tightened. "I don't know how it is up here in pink land, but in the real world, sometimes loving shit hurts. And sometimes, the only way to stop hurting, is to stop loving."

"That is where you are wrong." Carol snipped. "Loving something does not hurt. Loss, betrayal, despair, jealousy, melancholy, confusion, anger, those hurt. Love is the only thing in this universe that does not cause pain. It is the only thing worth living for, and anyone who thinks differently is a fool."

Ouch. "I guess I'm a fool then."

Her serious face then cracked a tiny smirk. "The fact that you can recognize that means there is still hope for you."

"Maybe I should call for my Blue Lantern ring and better my chances." I could not help but smile, and even Carol let out a soft chuckle.

"Well, it probably wouldn't hurt." I let out a laugh. Oh wow, I had not laughed in some time. "Try it again. But before you do," she stopped my face from falling too much, "take a minute and just think about what love means to you. What does it feel like to love? Or to be loved? Just take your time, and think about it before you start."

She glided back to the outside of the training area. "Go when you're ready."

I closed my eyes.

Okay.

Okay.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me –

No. This is not the time for that song.

Okay.

What does it feel like to love?

It feels…nice.

You feel happy a lot of the time. It's less lonely. Your thoughts get occupied by the thing, or person, all of the time.

Being touched by the right person is…incredible.

A caress as simple as a hand on your arm can feel so supportive and safe. It can set your nerves on fire. Or force the air out of your lungs.

It's also caring. Love means caring about someone else. It means you are cared for.

Love is not necessarily restricted to romance. The love I have for Bruce is different than the love I have for Johnny.

Had.

Had for Johnny.

No.

Stop lying to yourself.

Have.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to try again, only to find that everything around me seemed brighter and cloudier. I looked around and saw Carol with a large smile on her face.

I got the ring to work. I had unconsciously surrounded myself with a bright pink energy.

A smile unknowingly made its way to my face. I freaking did it!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Justice League Watch Tower

"Being a human being is horrible." J'onn J'onzz admitted. "They feel so many emotions, many of them caused by…nothing. I do not understand it."

A small, sad smile grew on Wonder Woman's lips. "They are interesting creatures."

At the moment, they were alone in the Watch Tower cafeteria. It was the middle of the night, so most of the members had either retired to their rooms, or gone back to their homes on Earth.

"Are you alright, Diana?" J'onn asked, taking note of her changing facial expression.

"I'm fine, J'onn." She tried to reassure him.

The little annoyingly-human mental connection he had to Andi was starting to get the best of him. "It does not seem like you are fine."

One of Diana's eyebrows raised, and a smirk threatened to make its way to her lips. "Excuse me?"

J'onn shifted in his set, clearly uncomfortable, but that tiny blip of humanity was not letting him back down. "You have not been yourself lately. I have observed moments where you are quicker to anger than usual, you have not been sleeping on your usual schedule. as well as times when you seem to be somber, as opposed to your usual…self. I apologize if I have upset you, but I just want to know if you are alright."

Diana was a bit shocked. She had never seen the Martian like this before. And while it was annoying that he spoke to her like that, she couldn't exactly blame him. He was not himself, either. So, she put on a small smile. "J'onn, I appreciate your attention to detail, but I am fine."

He saw right through it. "You are lying."

She gave a slight, albeit annoyed, nod. "Yes, I am lying. But that's what people do. When they are not okay, they say they are so that others don't worry about them."

His eyebrows furrowed. "I do not understand."

"How do I explain it…" She asked herself. "It is a….defense mechanism that humans have, so that they do not have to reveal their vulnerability to others.

J'onn looked at her skeptically. "That seems...stupid."

Diana's face broke out into a smile. "It is stupid."

He could not stop himself from letting out a small chuckle.

"How are you holding up?" She asked gently.

"I am not entirely sure," he admitted. "But when I awoke this morning, it did not take me as long to get out of my bed."

"That's good." Diana gave him a small smile.

The Martian shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose so." He paused for a moment before divulging in a whispered tone, "Andi seems to be doing better, but I am wary about what she is getting herself into."

"What's she doing?" She matched his tone.

Again, he hesitated. Telling Diana about Andi's whereabouts would break his promise to her, but it was killing him to know that she is potentially endangering herself both physically and mentally. He had to talk to someone.

But he promised Andi he would not say anything.

But everything was beginning to be too much for him.

But she will be furious at him if she finds out.

But he is about to go insane.

But Andi will never talk to him again.

But if this keeps up, no one will ever talk to him again.

"She's with the Star Sapphires." He blurted out, letting go of a breath he did not know he was holding.

Diana understood his concern immediately. "Oh no. Is she okay?"

He nodded. "She is fine for now."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded again. "She is with Carol Ferris."

Diana raised one of her eyebrows in question. "That doesn't concern you? You've seen how Carol has acted out in the past."

"True. But from what I've felt from Andi, it seems like Carol is just trying to help her control the ring's power."

She scoffed. "We'll see how long that lasts."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Where are we going?" I asked Carol. We were flying(?) through space. I mean, I never thought I would be able to harness any power out of the ring, let alone be able to control it! It has been an interesting few weeks, to say the least.

"To respond to a Red Lantern attack. One of our Sapphires was successful in taking down one of the Red Lanterns, and was attacked in return. She needs backup." Carol responded. I was following her flight pattern.

But what she said made me a bit nervous. "Red Lanterns? Am I really ready for that?"

She gave a slight shrug. "I am not sure, but that's alright. Two Sapphires are more powerful than one Red Lantern. And besides, if something happens to me, you can call your other rings to you, and save yourself."

"I guess so." That was not the first time she had mentioned my other rings during my stay on Zamaron. She used them as examples all of the time while I was training, which made sense. They all need the same basic things.

Carol checked our ETA on her ring. "We're nearly to Miri's coordinates. We're about ten minutes out."

"Uh, Carol?"

"What?"

"I think we're there."

She looked up from her ring and her eyes widened. Just ahead of us was an ominous red glow. But that did not seem to phase her. "Get ready."

I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. "For what?"

"Anything." She said simply, increasing her speed. I blindly followed her. "Andi?" She called back to me.

"Yeah?"

Carol turned to look at me, and it looked like she had a bit of fear in her eyes. "You might want to call your other rings. Just in case." She brought herself to a stop.

My throat tightened as I stopped with her. "Do you think that's really necessary?" Please say no. Please say no. Please say-

Her voice was stern and sure. "Judging by the size and intensity of that glow, yes."

Damn it.

"Okay." I barely spoke. Closing my eyes, I held out my hands.

Okay, Andi. You have to stop being afraid of them. This isn't like the Silver Lantern War. You are not going to kill anybody, you are trying to help someone. Just call the other rings.

I took a deep, shaky breath. I pictured the other rings in the shoe box underneath my bed back in Dakota City, sitting patiently underneath several years worth of dust. And one by one, I imagined them disappearing and reappearing into my open hands. First green, then blue, and finally indigo.

I opened my eyes to find my hands still empty. Come on.

"Well?" She asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Well, we're _somewhere_ in _space_ , so it might take a moment. Or it might not work at all. I don't know, I've never tried 'calling' something _in space_ before." My voice had a light bitterness about it.

"We don't have much time." The annoyance in her voice was more present this time.

I rolled my eyes and went back to looking at my hands.

Come on, rings. Show up.

A few minutes passed and my Green Lantern ring finally appeared. "Yes!" I said in triumph. And before I could say anything else, the other two rings appeared. "It worked!"

"Good, now put those on and let's get moving." Carol began making her way toward the red glow.

"What?" I said, but not loud enough for her to hear. Put them on? I thought they were a back up plan.

I was stagnant for a moment, looking at the rings. Oh god, I don't want to do this again.

"Andi!" Carol's high pitched voice rang ever so shrilly in my ear.

It's now or never. I took a deep breath and slipped the three rings back onto my fingers, and I immediately felt the immense power flowing through me. Although it felt differently this time. The massive amount of energy was not overwhelming, it was more...enhancing.

I took a quick look at myself, and I could feel my heart start racing when I saw that my suit had changed. The low-cut pink bodice had stayed the same, but the long sleeves had turned back, with blue fingerless gloves at the end. Black tights had appeared on my legs, and my thigh-high pink boots had turned green. All of the corps' were tied together with a pair of purple armored plates on my shoulders. No longer were the powers of the corps' working separately within me, but were finally working as one. Even the rings themselves were no longer melted on my fingers, but intact, and ready to get to work.

I took a couple deep breaths after my transformation to gather my bearings, and then sped off toward the glow. Not going to lie, I was not prepared for what I saw. A blue woman in a pink leotard was writhing in pain, and surrounded by a bright red glow. Circling the glow was a small blue creature, dressed in a red and black outfit, snarling and hissing at the woman. Wait, was that a...cat?

"Uh, Carol?" I began skeptically as I got closer to her. She kept her distance from the glow, and just watched and listened to the woman screaming in agony. "Is that a cat?"

She nodded without looking at me. "His name is Dex-Starr. He was recruited to the Red Lanterns after his owner was killed on Earth. And he may be small, but he is full of anger and hatred and therefore dangerous. Especially since Miri had tried to take out his new 'owner,' Atrocitus, the leader of the Red Lanterns."

"Oh my god." I sighed and ran my hand through the wispy strands of hair that had fallen out of my pony tail. Why would she take him on by herself?"

Carol shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, but she needs our help."

My eyes rolled slightly. "I understand that. How do we even take on a Red Lantern, don't they like, spit blood-acid or some shit?"

"Yes," Carol answered simply, still refusing to look at me. "And the only way to truly defeat a Red Lantern, is to separate them from their ring."

Okay, that didn't seem like the hardest thing. "Okay, so if we take their ring it will take away their powers, right?"

I waited for a moment for her answer, but received none.

"Right?" I repeated, suddenly very unsure of what I had been asked to do.

"In a sense." She finally answered, turning her head toward me. "The blood-acid is their blood. The power of the Red Lantern ring replaces their 'normal' blood with a rage-filled blood, and turns their 'normal' blood into that blood-acid which they then expel from their bodies. So, when the ring is taken away from them…" she trailed off and turned away from me again.

My eyes widened when I understood. "They die, don't they?"

Carol stared ahead, and responded with a very clear and commanding answer. "Yes."

"Oh my god." I grabbed my head in frustration. Why does it always have to come down to life or death? I took a deep breath in and put my hands on my hips in defiance. "I'm not killing a cat."

"Andi-"

"I'M NOT KILLING A FUCKING CAT, CAROL!"

"Andi, you don't understand." She kept her voice very calm. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to remove a Red Lantern's ring? It's near impossible, it's practically a suicide mission. But with your rings, we could take down the Red Lantern Corps. You could help end so much hate and suffering in this universe."

I pushed my palms into my eyes. She's just using me. Jesus fucking Christ. This whole time she's been using me for my stupid rings.

"Andi, Miri will not survive much longer, we have to act now." Carol tried to touch my shoulder, but I pushed her hand away.

"Get. Away. From. Me." I growled at her, and turned away completely and began flying away.

Carol flew after me and grabbed my arm. "Andi!"

I turned around to push her away when a green beam appeared and knocked Carol away.

"I believe she told you to get away from her." A deep male voice said behind me. A tall, human Green Lantern came flying in and stood between Carol and I.

"Um, who-?"

He turned slightly to me and flashed a smirk. "Name's Hal Jordan. Your friend John Stewart has told me a lot about you, Andi." He then turned to the Star Sapphire. "Hey, Carol."

"Hal." She returned the greeting stiffly.

He turned back to me. "Andi, there is a way that you can-"

"I'm sorry, Hal, was it?" I interrupted him. "You seem very...boy scout-y, which I...appreciate. But I really can't handle one more person trying to tell me what to do. I'm not killing the cat, and I'm going to go back to Earth now so I can never touch these rings again." I turned around and made to leave.

"Miri will die if you don't help her!" Carol yelled at the back of my head, making the hairs on my neck stand up.

I quickly turned around and got in her face. "Well then that's her fucking fault for getting involved in this shit!" Oh god, here it comes. My hands flew up and grabbed my head. "This entire fucking shit fest! I didn't want any part of this! _Your_ ring found me, _your_ ring cornered me and _put itself_ on my finger! I just wanted to be left alone for _once_ in my. GOD. DAMNED. LIFE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, which caught the attention of that little blue cat.

"More Sapphires!" The cat hissed and started coming toward us. "Kill more Sapphires!"

"Andi, there isn't much time-"

"Oh shut up, Carol!" I growled at her. "I'm _done_ listening to you!"

Hal tried to reason with me, "Andi, really-"

"I don't even _know_ you!" I rolled my head toward Hal.

Dex-Starr screamed, almost upon us, "KILL-"

"JESUS FUCK, WOULD YOU BE QUIET?!" I cut him off, raising my hand and creating a swirling pink, blue, green, and purple orb construct around him. "I mean really," I glared at him through my now glowing white eyes. "We are in the _middle_ of a conversation, you asshole cat!"

Dex-Starr hissed and screamed as it repeatedly hit the walls of the orb, trying to break it.

"Now," Carol began again. "All you have to do is-" She was cut off by a light construct covering her mouth.

I lowered my hand and turned to Hal. "Did I not just say, 'Oh shut up, Carol?' Because I'm pretty sure I did."

Hal moved his head from side to side in consideration, watching Carol try to rip the construct off. "Yeah, I think you did."

"Thought so." I took a deep breath and looked at the two flailing about. "What am I supposed to do with them?"

"Well," Hal crossed his arms over his chest in contemplation. "I'd probably collect Miri over there, and send the two ladies back to Zamaran."

"That's not a bad idea." I turned to the small blue figure in the fading red glow. Lifting up my had, I let out another white beam and surrounded her in an orb. With another wave of my hand, the ladies disappeared, hopefully to Zamaran. Space is weird.

My eyes shifted slightly to the angry blue cat, who was still trying to break his way out of the orb. "What should I do about him?"

Hal sighed, "Well-"

"I am not killing him." My voice was harsh and bitter.

The older man gave a gentle shake of his head. "I wouldn't either."

I rubbed my face in contemplation. "There's got to be a way to get the ring away from him without hurting him."

"There is a theory going around, but it hasn't been successful yet." He suggested.

That peaked my interest. "Oh?"

"The theory," Hal continued. "Is that the compassion of the Indigo Tribe can help a person empathize with a Red Lantern, then the love of the Star Sapphires will heal their mind, the hope of the Blue Lanterns will heal their body, and the willpower of the Green Lanterns will destroy the ring."

I nodded slowly. Maybe that would work. "Can one person do it?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, but for Dex-Starr's sake, I hope so."

"Me too." I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

Okay.

Okay okay okay okay okay okay.

Take a deep breath.

Focus.

Compassion.

Why is he angry?

Not at the Sapphires, but, why did the Red Lantern ring go to him in the first place?

Carol said his owner-

No.

We can't trust Carol.

We have to ask him ourselves.

I took another deep breath and my eyes opened, the white light having disappeared and my brown irises returning to normal. As that breath left my lungs, the light around me changed into a lilac shade, and the suit I was wearing morphed into a sleeveless indigo crop top, with matching plated arm bands, bikini style bottoms, and knee high laced boots.

 _Welcome to the Indigo Tribe._

"Dex-Starr," I called to him, gently floating over to his glowing prison, getting an angrier reaction out of him.

"STAY AWAY." He screamed, his back arching, and his hair standing up. "LEAVE OR DIE."

I did not waiver. "Dex-Starr." I reached his orb and placed my hands on it. "Help me understand why."

The construct disappeared, and he launched himself at me. I caught him, and held the small cat close. He growled and wiggled to try and get out of my arms, but I held onto him.

"Please," I begged him, feeling the power from the Indigo ring build up in me. "Help me understand."

The animal began to glow, and all of a sudden I began to see visions of a homeless kitten being rescued by a woman. And she was everything to him. She gave him a home, and love, and everything he ever needed. And then the robber came, and took her away from him. He was back on the streets, and those kids beat him and threw him over a bridge. Then everything went red, and all he could feel was anger, and it's been like this ever since.

The glow subsided, and the feline stopped fighting me. He was shaking, and still giving off a low growl, but nothing compared to before.

"I am so sorry, Dexter." I whispered to him, letting my hand gently caress his head. "Losing someone you love is...is so hard." Without my knowledge, the color of my glow and my outfit began to shift back into that of the Star Sapphires. "And it hurts more than anything in the world. And you are so angry because you are hurting. But love does not hurt. It feels amazing and you know that. And your owner knew that. You were her 'good kitty,' and you can be again. But you have to let me help you, okay?"

He did not answer me, but nuzzled his head into my hand.

A small smile appeared on my face, and the glow around Dex-Starr and I changed again. It dulled from a bright pink to a blue hue, and with it, my Star Sapphire outfit morphed into a cut-out-shoulder black full bodysuit, with royal blue sleeves, two blue panels on my sides, and matching thigh high boots.

 _Welcome to the Blue Lantern Corps._

Gently, I brought Dex-Starr away from my chest and surrounded him in a blue aura. "All will be well." I pulled the Red Lantern ring off of his tail, and the aura around him glowed. Dex-Starr began to cough, and blood acid flowed from his mouth, and floated off into space. Eventually the blood acid stopped flowing, and as it moved farther away from Dex-Starr, the more at peace the cat seemed. His eyes were closed, and welcomed coming back into my arms.

Everything changed around me again, and the blue glow shifted to green. My outfit transitioned again, bodice and gloves turning green with matching boots, black sleeves and tights. I held up my hand with the Red Lantern ring in it, closed it into a fist, and concentrated all of my power into destroying the ring. My hand lit up brightly, and once the light dimmed, I opened my hand and the red ring had become nothing but a small pile of dust.

 _Welcome to the Green Lantern Corps._

The dust poured out of my hand as I turned to gently pet the snoozing cat in my arms.

"You're a good kitty." I cooed to Dexter, smiling at the purrs he responded with.

"Nice work." Hal congratulated me in a low voice.

I forgot he was even there. "Thank you." I turned around to face him again.

Hal floated over to me. "You know, he's going to be in danger now. The Red Lanterns are probably going to be looking for him. He'll have to go into hiding-"

"He needs a loving family that will care for him and protect him." I interrupted the older man. "And I know the perfect place."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

"I'm coming!" Robert Hawkins called as he made his way through his home in Dakota. He opened the front door and his face quickly broke out into a smile. "Sweethear-uh what are you wearing?"

Standing in his doorway with a small animal carrier, and caught a little off guard, I looked down and saw the 'working together' Lantern outfit. Huh, I wonder when that came back. "Oh, um, that's a long story. Well, real quick, this is a more grown-up version of that Silver Lantern thing - you know what, it doesn't matter. I'm here to ask for a favor." I stumbled over my words.

"Of course, whatever you need. Do you want to come in?" He replied immediately. Bruce had told him about my disappearance, and he was not about to let this opportunity to see and help me slip away.

"No, I'm alright, thank you though. Um, anyway, I was wondering if you would watch a friend of mine. For a while."

Mr. Hawkins' eyebrow raised. "A friend."

I lifted the carrier up to show him the nervous little blue cat inside. "Yes. His name is Dexter. He's been through a lot, and he really just needs a safe and loving home, with people in it who will love him and take care of him. And I know you don't typically keep pets, but little Dexter here is a stray, and being one of the many strays that you have taken in and helped, you are the only person I would trust with him."

A small, proud smile grew on his face. He looked into the crate. "He is kind of cute, isn't he?"

I nodded in agreement. "Very cute. And he loves ear scratchies."

"I suppose," Mr. Hawkins sighed with a growing smile. "We could take him in for a little while. Trina has been hinting that she's been feeling like an empty nester since her nephew moved to Gotham with her sister."

"Thank you." The carrier passed between us. "He is a good boy, I promise. I would just stay away from...red collars and toys and stuff. It's not a good color on him."

Not quite understanding the reason behind it, he just nodded. "Will do."

I gave him a quick and tight hug, which he returned one-handed. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, see you soon." And before we broke the hug, I had disappeared in the wind, leaving only him and the newest member of the family.

Mr. Hawkins lifted up the carrier and gave the cat a soft nod. "Welcome to the Hawkins family, Dexter."

Dexter meowed at him, and was carried inside to his new home.


End file.
